Reluctant to write anything tonight, as I'm still feeling crappy. I feel like I should be doing better.
I've done lots of nice things over the weekend, the sun is shining, I should be in a happy smiley place. But I'm not. I'm somewhere else.
Where my glasses have been taken off me again and the world is all blurry and distorted.
I'm trapped in a black bubble, that refuses to be popped.
Swimming against the tide.
Why do I always have to be strong and fight this?
I'm so tired of fighting.
I don't want to be all preachy, but sometimes, when I feel so weak and exhausted, I can find comfort in God. There is a verse in the Bible (I think its Corinthians, but I'm not too sure), that says something like this, "When you are weak, that is when I am most powerful."
And man alive do I feel weak.
My depression and anxiety eats away at my mind and body. I feel like I have used up all my resources, all my juices, there's nothing left in me.
That's when I have to trust that God is working through me. In whatever weird way possible (cuz there's no point trying to guess.)
I just have to hope that I will be filled up with strength once more. That my batteries will become recharged (rather like the Duracell bunny...) and I'll have the energy to fight again.
xxxxx
Just found your blog and I understand what you feel. Actually, talking shortly, I have just posted a topic on my blog called: "How to be happy (10 tips dealing with depression)", maybe you would be interested to read:
ReplyDeletehttp://lazybluesundays.blogspot.com.es/2013/05/how-to-be-happy-10-tips-dealing-with.html
It`s personal but maybe you can find something close for yourself.
Good luck!
Eve