Reluctant to write anything tonight, as I'm still feeling crappy. I feel like I should be doing better.
I've done lots of nice things over the weekend, the sun is shining, I should be in a happy smiley place. But I'm not. I'm somewhere else.
Where my glasses have been taken off me again and the world is all blurry and distorted.
I'm trapped in a black bubble, that refuses to be popped.
Swimming against the tide.
Why do I always have to be strong and fight this?
I'm so tired of fighting.
I don't want to be all preachy, but sometimes, when I feel so weak and exhausted, I can find comfort in God. There is a verse in the Bible (I think its Corinthians, but I'm not too sure), that says something like this, "When you are weak, that is when I am most powerful."
And man alive do I feel weak.
My depression and anxiety eats away at my mind and body. I feel like I have used up all my resources, all my juices, there's nothing left in me.
That's when I have to trust that God is working through me. In whatever weird way possible (cuz there's no point trying to guess.)
I just have to hope that I will be filled up with strength once more. That my batteries will become recharged (rather like the Duracell bunny...) and I'll have the energy to fight again.