Sunday, 7 October 2012

love love love

 It had completely slipped my mind until tonight to write a little more about my new tattoo...

For those who have seen it or remember reading it, last year I got the word 'hope' tattooed on my wrist. It is a word that has got me through my darkest hours. A word that I never wanted to forget. I've said it a thousand times before, but hope can often hide, but always be found.

And so, a year after I attempted to take my own life, I wanted another positive mantra inscribed onto my wrist.

When I look back over the past year my mind is blown away with how far I've come. I literally can't believe what I've been able to achieve. I know I may not be back at work yet, but I've jumped over some massive hurdles (such a cliche I know, but stick with it..!)

 And probably most importantly, I've come back. Susie has come back. I never thought that would happen! Lets all jump on the table and do a little dance! 

Therefore, when deciding on a particular word for my tattoo, my brain was having a bit of a dilemma. Should I have strength? Or should I have love?

Anyway, to cut a long story short, and because its 10pm on a Sunday night and my bed is calling, I decided on love.

To remind myself that I am loved. To remember that I've finally begun to love myself again.

And to know that love isn't flowers and cards and big smushy stuff. Its a hug. Its a journey. Its a tissue (or snot rag in my case.) Its standing by your side. Its acceptance. Its telling you things you don't want to hear. Its not wanting to change you. Its forever. 

xxx

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