Friday, 2 March 2012

mini gold medal please?

So.........if you follow me on twitter, you will already know that I've done the impossible today and jumped over 2 hurdles. Big wows, hurrahs, hoorays, whoops and yays!

They may seem like stupidly simple tasks, but for me, they were a big deal.

Firstly I finished filling in the nasty nasty medical form that the benefit people send me. Its utterly hopeless for anyone suffering from a mental illness as it is almost entirely aimed at people with physical ailments. Honestly I would love to slap any of those big plonkers in suits who made the form up, complete twits. Its taken me about 3 weeks to fill in, and I've had to have my support worker  helping me every step of the way. I would have been lost without her! My eczema has been increasingly worse the past week, and I'm sure its related to the stress of that mean form. Anyway, its done now, and I can forget about it! Another big wahooo!

Oh and the second thing, was an impulsive decision that's harder to explain. Its also a long story. I'll try my best to shorten it (mainly because I don't want to bore myself...ha!)

I live half way between Bath and Bristol. I worked in Bath for about 3 and a half years. Until today the last time I stepped foot in the centre of Bath was 16th December 2010, the day I was signed off work. I have previously flatly refused to go to Bath, paralysed just thinking about it. Thinking about it would make me feel sick, and actually it still kind of does. It just fills me with horror, reminding me of my past life, and terrified of bumping into people I used to know. Anyway, I have recently made bits of progress, and said to myself that if I needed to go in, I would. I just don't really need to, as I'm always in Bristol. Does that make sense? Basically I wasn't willing to force myself into doing something just for the sake of it, and I still feel the same.

 Today though, Mama and Papa pig told me they were going for lunch in the Bath Pump Rooms as they had some vouchers....and I thought...hmmm... stay at home and dwell on despair, or go and have a tasty lunch? The lunch won! Papa pig also promised a trip to a bargain trainer shop (I bought some pink ones...he he) Papa pig also reassured me that he would look after me, and he kept his promise, holding my hand every step of the way. Yes, I may look a big baby holding my Dad's hand, I know I'm nearly 26 and not 6...but it helped me, so who cares!

Three glasses of prosecco were enjoyed, and we toasted my mini triumph.

More big hurrahs all round.


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