Sunday, 4 March 2012

30 seconds of confusion


Susanna Ruth.

Stop procrastinating and write something.

Oh dear, I think I scared myself then by using my full name.

And I still can't get whats in my head onto the page because I keep on getting distracted and my mind is whirling, whizzing, spinning.... on to the next thing, and the next....

My brain goes something like this....

 "Why why why? Who's that? I want to get away. I need to wash my hair. Oo is it going to rain tomorrow. I dont want to go to counselling on tuesday. Shit bugger. Fag fag fag. Drink please. Wine please. Oh no there isnt any. I want to party. I cant stop wearing my grey hoody again. Ooo bed will feel good later. art class, do i want to go, yes. not early. oh not early. rip up work. argggh. so shit at drawing. rubbish. everything you try you fail. fail fail fail. anything good on telly tonight? shall i watch upstairs downstairs, gave me nightmares last 2 weeks thinking about the war and poor jewish children. hate having nightmares. always running, hiding. tired. "

And thats all in the space of about 30 seconds....

I think I need to relax, bathtime perhaps??


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