Monday, 28 November 2011

a bit all over the place

Been doing a bit of medical research this afternoon. Which can be a little bit dangerous, but I'm hoping it will be helpful. I've got an idea about my diagnosis, and I've been wondering if the doctors have missed something key along the way. Hmm. I almost don't want to say too much, in case I'm wrong, but I have a very big niggle, and usually my niggles are masters of truth!

When you have so much time on your hands, its hard not too self analyse constantly. Especially, when you're a person who does that naturally. But I think I might be right about this one....Hmm...Although once I've got an idea in my head, theres no way I'm going to budge. An irritating habit that I try to curb once in a while....

I remember the first time I went to see the psychiatrist and I ended up having a small row with him. Whoops. Well, he was trying to tell me that my paranoia's weren't actually real, and I was most put out. How can someone else tell you whats real or not real in your mind? Its virtually impossible, and I wasn't having any of it.

I'm feeling completely spaced tonight...not sure where this is going....

And now I'm thinking of all the times when I've been a stubborn cow and made stupid mistakes, hurt people I love. Urgh.

Personality transplant anyone?? Yes please.

Last week I had to make a list of my positive attributes for my counselling session.

It was super hard. Brain achingly hard....(it was the homework that I tried to forget about...!)

But the first thing on my list, and probably the only one that I truly believed in was....

"I'm not boring..."

You can't argue with that...



  1. I'm intrigued my little sister and want to hear more...Loving your blog, just caught up on the last week. Can think of a thousand positive things about you to add to that list but I know you won't believe me. Here's one that's completely true and ever so slightly cheesy - you are incredibly special.xxxx

  2. Abit of paranoia is healthy i think. That probably explains why im not a psychiatrist.