Tuesday, 29 November 2011

bad bad tuesday

The beastly black dog has completely taken over me today.


Its not going to be a long blog tonight, as I can barely string together a sentence.

I'm supposed to be working on a gallery proposal, but I just can't get my head around it. All I can see is how shit my paintings are, and how it would be pointless stressing myself out, when ultimately the likelihood of my proposal going through is zero. And some people would say, "Well you don't know that." But the thing is, I actually do. I have a degree in Art History, and I know what 'good' art is, or what would make a successful exhibition, and my work just doesn't cut the mustard.

I have tried. I just can't do it. My words won't work, I sound like an emotionally stunted dickhead. I know I'm going to fail, so whats the point.

Oh fuckity fuck.

Black dog has taken over my brain and I can't see clearly today.

Apologies for my bad language, I just cant seem to stop these curse words spitting out of my mouth!

All I want to do is bang my head against the wall and go to sleep.



  1. I know from bitter experience that mere words are an inadequate a support mechanism when in the midst of one of these horrible episodes, but know that there will always be people to love and help you. I can see that from what you've written over the past months.

    Appreciation of art is in the eye of the individual beholder and there will always be those who enjoy your work.

    Go to sleep. Let the dark hound pad its way out of the brain. You know how to get hold of me if you need to vent about the negative canine. X

  2. and if you want to fucking swear then you go right ahead and fucking swear. It's often the best course of action.

  3. Go ahead and swear, let it out! I cant help you today. I feel more useless than ever. Unless this helps you feel less alone. :-) x