Wednesday 23 March 2011

lets talk about panic attacks

Well... After my adventures, I have made it home. Back in the country...(side)..I haven't been abroad...Just wanted to make that clear....:-p

Discovering Twitter... Not sure what I think yet. Its too early to tell....but if you want to follow me I'm @SusiePiggott (what an original and interesting name...I almost chose theREALsusiepiggott just incase people might get me confused with the celebrity version...and then I realised...nobody else has such an interesting/strange little name!) Oh yeah and there is no celebrity version of  Susie Piggott....I am the one and only.....Ooooo little Chesney reference slipped in there...

I'm really sleepy but feeling in a slightly giddy mood. This doesn't happen very often. It feels really good to write. My mind is jam packed full of stuff. And its quite satisfying to be sat tip tap tap typing it out...

I do realise that I tend to repeat myself a ridiculous amount. But for once I'm not going to apologise, and instead I'm just going to let it out...

Panic attack...Two horrible words, combined together to make an absolute beast. Nobody likes to panic. And nobody ever wants to be attacked. So to have the two thrown at you together is pretty overwhelming.

 Now I might be completely wrong here...but when I'm having a panic attack I feel like such a fruit loop. Well, that's just one of the many things that goes through my head. But you feel like nobody else in the world has ever experienced what you're going through.  I'm slowly realising that little thought is untrue, I am not the only one...and the more people talk about it...I can only hope just a little bit..everyones panic attacks might become a little less scary... Actually that's a pretty huge challenge. Maybe I'll just start with me...and like one other person?!

Anyway...

When my attack comes on I feel like I cant breathe. My air passages (tubes, whatever the technical scientific term is) feel completely blocked up. Nothing is getting in, and nothing is getting out. Like a big balloon that's going to explode or something. And I need that air, badly. And so I panic more. So to compensate I over-breathe, which then makes it worse because I'm getting too much oxygen..or carbon dioxide...I cant remember...its a very scary vicious circle.

Combine all that with a heart racing, almost pounding out of your skin, a body that's going to keel over from dizziness, feeling like you're going to throw up any second, hands shaking, sometimes boiling hot all over...oh yeah and the scariest of all. You feel like you're going to die.

Now there are loads of amazing techniques that have helped me. A special breathing thing I do, a relaxation visualisation, holding onto something (or someone!) but everyone is different...

I would count myself lucky in the fact that I have had someone with me for most of my attacks. I've had a couple on my own... And its that fear and worry of being in a public place on my own and having a panic attack that is often so crippling. My attacks can go on for as long as an hour, and I often find it helpful to lie on the floor after a while. Imagine doing that on a train/bus/out and about in general public...

"Excuse me everyone, can you please shuffle up, I just need to lie down...Just having a panic attack..If someone could grab my hand that would be excellent..Oh no not you..your hands look a little grubby...preferably a clean hand please...and could someone put some relaxing music on and rub my back...thanks ever so..."

I don't know. That kind of sounds hilarious. Maybe you have just got to laugh about it...!

Yesterday a friend assured me that I would be amazed at the amount of people who would help me out if that slightly hilarious/scary/ panic attack situation happened again out in the big wide world...I'm thinking of exactly the right word now....

Hope

And if that fails...watch this....!

Betty Boo...Doin' the do
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sM_9As_2VAg

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