This week I've been having trouble sleeping, which is a little bit unusual for moi. I seem to get in bed and relax, but then as soon as I turn off the light my mind starts buzzing and my demons come to haunt me.
Its frightfully annoying.
I toss and turn. Put the light back on. Write things down that are worrying me. But my brain still buzzes into a fearsome darkness.
Anyway, after talking to a wise old bird, I began to read some Psalms before I turn my light off. And you know what, they've really helped. Now, I'm not one for preaching or forcing my religious views onto anyone. I rarely go to church, and I know that everyones own faith, or beliefs are a very personal thing. However, I wanted to share this, not just to remind myself, but to give a glimmer of hope to others.
There have been moments in my life when I have doubted the existence of God. Through darkness and pain, it seems unimaginable that a Godlike creature exists or cares about me. But, there have been other times in my life, when things have happened that have been so clearly guided by God that its impossible not to believe in him. The cynics out there would call these moments coincidences, but I choose to ignore those voices. Instead I but my faith in a mysterious and invisible presence that has looked after me for the past 26 years.
Today I was reminded of this poem, which kind of says things a lot better than I do......
|One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.|
|Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.|
|In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.|
|Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,|
|other times there were one set of footprints.|
|This bothered me because I noticed|
|that during the low periods of my life,|
|when I was suffering from|
|anguish, sorrow or defeat,|
|I could see only one set of footprints.|
|So I said to the Lord,|
|"You promised me Lord,|
|that if I followed you,|
|you would walk with me always.|
|But I have noticed that during|
|the most trying periods of my life|
|there have only been one|
|set of footprints in the sand.|
|Why, when I needed you most,|
|you have not been there for me?"|
|The Lord replied,|
|"The times when you have|
|seen only one set of footprints,|
| is when I carried you."|
Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text, All rights reserved