40 days and 40 nights

A productive day.

My back is aching, my brain is fried, but there are some satisfying ticks off my list.

Yesterday was the start of Lent...or does it start today? My theological knowledge is not that hot on the logistics of Lent. But is has given me time to think about what I might do, or what I might give up for Lent.

No point giving up chocolate, I don't really eat it.

I momentarily pondered on the idea of giving up smoking, but that just seems like too much of a challenge right now. I'm not Superwoman after all.

Same goes for alcohol...

So I decided to think of something proactive I could do for the next 40 days instead of 'giving up' something.

Perhaps going to the gym every day.

Ha.

Another unrealistic goal.

Or give some money to charity.

Kind of realistic, but I'm not exactly flush with funds at the moment.

One year I tried to do a good deed every day, even if it was just making Mama Pig a cup of tea. I think I was fairly successful for about the first 7 days, up until the point when I completely forgot about it...

And so I have decided upon another challenge, which I think will probably turn out harder than any of the others. I'm going to give up worrying.

Well, I'm going to try anyway.

I'm not going to worry about tomorrow, or next week, or next year.

I'm not going to worry about the fact that something bad is going to happen and my depression will spiral again.

I'm not going to worry about my family or my friends.

I'm not going to worry about being unemployed.

I'm not going to worry about the fact that I still live at home.

I'm not going to worry that I'm fast approaching 30 and I haven't really achieved anything.

I'm not going to worry about people that I don't even know.

I'm not going to worry about the forthcoming exhibition.

I'm not going to worry about the hen weekend I'm planning.

I'm not going to worry about the constant pain in my back that makes me think I've got something seriously wrong.

I'm not going to worry about what I wear.

I'm not going to worry about my crazy hair.

I'm not going to worry.

I'm not.

I'm going to channel that excessive worrying into something positive. Not really sure what..maybe just positive thoughts would be a good start.

For the next 40 days anyway...(or the foreseeable future..!)

xxx