Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Who am I?

Last night I overcame my fear of crowded cinemas through my love of Les Miserables. If you only watch one film in 2013, let it be Les Miserables. It is quite simply, incredible.

As expected, tears were gushing out of me at a rate of knots. At the end of the evening I had a very soggy handkerchief (or snot rag, as my friends like to call them...)

Despite knowing all the words, to all the songs, I resisted temptation, and kept my mouth shut. It was pretty flipping hard though. And everyone clapped at the end of the film, how old school and typically British is that? More clapping at cinemas please. More clapping in general actually please. Reward yourself for getting out of bed with a hearty applause for all to hear. You deserve it.

Anywho. I'm getting distracted.

I've had a bit of a crappy day, getting my knickers in a right old twist about this exhibition in March. I just hate all my work. And I want to tell the truth about my paintings, but then I don't want them to be seen as 'therapy'. Oh I don't know. Its all a bit confused in my brain and its taking me into the darkness.

I've been listening to one of my favourite songs from Les Mis, and I just thought I'd jot down some of the lyrics. Who am I? Its a pretty ginormous question really. But it hangs over my head, especially thinking about exhibiting my work, because you see, its part of me.

    Who am I? From Les Miserables,

    When I have come so far
    And struggled for so long?....

    ....If I speak, I am condemned.
    If I stay silent, I am damned!
    Who am I?
    Who am I?

    Can I conceal myself for evermore?
    Pretend I'm not the man I was before?...

    ....Must I lie?
    How can I ever face my fellow men?
    How can I ever face myself again?...

    ...My soul belongs to God, I know
    I made that bargain long ago
    He gave me hope when hope was gone
    He gave me strength to journey on...


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