Sunday, 30 December 2012

30th december, lets just erase it!

So its New Years Eve Eve, and I cant seem to shake off the dark cloud hanging over my head today.

"Cheer up!" says one person.

"Remember all the things you have to be grateful for!" says another.

People, please take note, these are possibly some of the worst things you can say to anyone who suffers from depression. Mainly because I would like to cheer up, but today its just too far to reach. Also remembering all the good things in my life, just makes me feel even worse for being so low. It just makes me feel guilty.

So I just have to go with it.

Have some space, smoke some cigarettes, eat a few twiglets and just be me.

On the plus side, Christmas seems to be one of the only times of the year when its acceptable to go for a nap any time of day. I'm taking full advantage of this yuletide pleasure and I've already had 2 naps today....

 The fact that the New Year is slowly creeping up on me isn't helping my brain at the mo. Its never been my favourite celebration, and the black dog likes to use it to remind me of all the things that I still can't do, or haven't achieved. Sneaky bastard.



  1. You are so right!! When you are right, you're right!!♥

  2. Susie, I am so grateful to have stumbled across your blog via SANE on twitter. On New Year's Eve might depression took a lethal hold of me and attempted to take my life. During my recovery at present I am seeking inspirational advice and wisdom that I can apply to my own life and use to inspire others. It is such a relief to find someone like you, who is like me (if that makes sense! Similar age/background) to relate to. When informing my manager at work of what had happened I too was told "just think what you have to live for, you're a pretty girl with a bright future". I'm sure you can understand how unhelpful this 'advice' was. I don't feel pretty nor do I feel like I have a bright future. I just tried to kill myself for f's sake! I currently have just one friend I can confide in. Just ONE. So blogs like this are providing a great support to people like me. You have inspired me to inspire. @NickailaArnold x X x