Sometimes you need to step back, walk away, and come back with a fresh perspective.
My writing was starting to frustrate me, like so much of my life at the moment it felt repetitive.
When the black dog has paralysed your body and mind its impossible to fight it. Its only when you've been able to keep it on a lead for a little while, that you can straighten things out in your mind.
I have to remind myself so often when I get paranoid, or scared and start freaking out about things, that its my poorly brain. Its not the real Sooz. Its poorly brain Sooz. But I cant see it at the time, because black dog always seems to be so logical and make so much sense. It seems to have the answers to all your problems. And that answer is always the same, end it, stop it now, give up, you're failing, your life is never going to change, the world would be better off without you.
I have to fight. I need to fight. This is not a battle. Its an ongoing war. But it will end. There is always an end. People keep telling me this won't last forever. I struggle to believe them. But I have to hope.
I have to hope.
P.S thank you Kate for recommending this song..... xxx