You may have noticed, or not noticed....depending if you skim-read this...that I often find it hard to keep track of the days...Its quite a strange feeling really. Because I know its Tuesday. And I know its the beginning of March. But for some reason it doesn't completely register in my little brain....
If you're wondering what my point is...I don't really have one, ha ha!
Anyway I was thinking about how amazing blogging, facebook, emails, text messages etc etc are to my life! It has been such a fantastic way for me to be able to reach out to friends and still feel part of life (even if its just in a small way...)
I often imagine what my life would have been like had I been born 50 years ago or 100 years ago. Is that strange? Nah...I think thats quite normal...Maybe if history bores you to tears then you might find it a little pointless but I love my history. Ah what a geek!
I wonder would my friendships, my family, my relationships still be the same? And what about my depression and anxiety. How would I of coped? I'm thinking that there wasn't the same kind of medication back in yee olden days. It must of been so tough for people to survive this illness without help. Or any kind of illness to be honest. The Internet and phone allows me to feel connected to people, and the world. Imagine trying to survive this without being able to talk to people about how you are. It is an illness that makes you feel alone, scared, isolated, like you're the only one, and being able to communicate through just letters must of been difficult. (Mind you I am a big fan of snail mail) Plus people had all that added rubbish of the bloody British stiff upper lip. Whats all that about?!
Again I'm not really sure what my point is... I think I'm just realising more and more how important it is to talk about how we feel. For so much of my life I bottled up my feelings, and hardly ever shared. Then when I did tell somebody my deepest darkest secrets I would feel so exposed. Like I had given them a precious segment of my soul. And for all I knew they might not of wanted it! Or they might not of known how to deal with it. But it was an intense connection. And if something happened to end the friendship or relationship, I would feel as if they still had a part of me.
So after 24 long old years I have finally realised its just so much better to get stuff out into the open. Now I'm not saying I'm gonna get on the bus tomorrow and start chatting with some random about my lifelong story. But for me personally, if I share how I feel more equally amongst people, I won't feel like they've taken something away from me. It won't be such a big deal. And actually sharing how you feel is a two way thing. You talk, they talk. Its an equal give and take kinda thing. Sorted.
Yeah thats enough for tonight......
Much love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx