Thursday 3 February 2011

Would you rather have 3 eyes or 3 hands...?

Well, since I first sat here yesterday typing away I can honestly say I have been overwhelmed by all the positive responses! Thank you all so much, I really was blown away by your kindness, it was really touching. It has also made me realise again just how much this nasty illness effects people.

This morning I've had counselling, which was good but so exhausting. I know sitting down in a room talking for an hour doesn't sound very tiring, but believe me, my brain is seriously hurting. I'm really lucky in that I have a great counsellor who understands where I'm coming from. She gave me a lot to think about today. Its like I'm standing at the bottom of Mount Everest, ahead of me is a task that I just can't imagine reaching. I feel like instead of being equipped with snow boots, ice picks, ropes and all that jazz, I'm standing there in my flip flops and bikini!

I didn't want to eat much at lunch time, it was a real struggle.

The last bit of todays sunshine seems to be on its way out now. I managed to get out for a short walk earlier. I live right slap bang in the middle of the countryside, there are so many fields and lanes to explore. I feel that walking in the countryside relaxes my mind somehow, and soothes my inner self. Especially when the wind is blowing and the sun is shining, I like feeling that theres a stronger force than my emotions that can have an effect me.

I hope this doesnt sound too cheesy....hmmm!

'Being depressed isn't so much about feeling a bit down, sad, or blue. At its worst, its about being devoid of feeling altogether'  Black Dog, Matthew Johnstone

I have found that quote so helpful. I am usually quite  a weepy person, blimey I seem to cry at anything! Lion King....Duck tales...Home Alone! But since I have been ill, I haven't shed one tear. Its as if I have gone past the point of crying, to a place where that emotion doesn't exist somehow.

A conversation that made me laugh last night.....

Susie :What would you rather have, 3 eyes or 3 hands?
Dad: 3 eyes
Susie: Really?! But that would look so weird! I would have 3 hands.
Dad: And that wouldn't look weird?!

Haha! It felt so good to laugh! I cant remember the last time I laughed so hard, I nearly fell off my chair!
And on that hilarious note (although maybe you had to be there....?!)
Until tomorrow .....xxxxxxx

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