This is not a self indulgent neurotic moan...it is an explanation, a description, a diary of a depression.
For those who don't know me, my name is Susie. I'm 24, and I have been suffering from depression probably for around 9 months. It creeps up on you so slowly, and then pounces!! I have been on medication for about 4 months now, and I have started going to counselling. I live in the south-west of England, but I'm from the Midlands. I have a minature schnauzer called Bella whom I love! She is the most gorgeous bundle of cuteness (that is if you like dogs...!) I'm 100% addicted to diet coke and I've just rediscovered my addiction to oreos...mmmmm yummy!
That discovery happened yesterday actually, it was the first bit of food I had enjoyed for months, very exciting. I've lost over a stone in weight since Decemeber which is horrible! I feel all boney and gross (I'm sorry if you're on a diet that must be irritating!) I usually love food, but eating is such a massive task, just looking at a plate of food makes me feel overwhelmed.
Anyway....Did you know that 1 in 4 people will suffer from depression at some point in their lives? That means that even if you don't suffer, someone you know will suffer!To make depression and anxiety (because these two often come up and bite you on the arse as a pair!)a less taboo subject, we need to get people talking about it, and understanding it.
It is an illness! Just like having a broken leg, but actually I would prefer to have a broken leg because at least I would know that my bones would eventually mend and I would be able to walk again. It sounds silly but true! Because depression and anxiety make everything very confusing, and at the moment I feel like I will never be well again.
I want to be rid of this illness that controls me like a black shadow, and I think that maybe in some small way blogging this will help. Some days I may not blog much, some days a lot, but it feels satisfying addressing the issues and lettting the world know whats going on!
A friend recently sent me a book called 'Black Dog' by Matthew Johnstone. It has been so helpful to me and to show my friends and family, and for me to realise that I'm not the only person to have felt like this! I would highly reccomend it.
Thats it for today...I'm just about to post a link for this on facebook and I'm feeling quite scared!
Come on Susie, be brave!
(Wow I must be an expert blogger now I'm talking about myself in the 3rd person!)
xxxxxxxxx
Hi, I just found your blog, have started reading through from the beginning. Think if you're thinking about publishing it would be a good read. I've been a blogger for a while but mostly about my overseas stuff etc. I've just started to write about how I'm actually feeling and my struggle with that 'black dog' we're all so fond of. I'm a bit nervous of people I know finding out it's me but if they do I guess it is better that people talk about depression so maybe it's a good thing!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thanks for what you're doing with the blog, I'll definitely tell people about it and spread the word. From someone who has a bit of experience with the darkness, I think the more people who talk about it the better!
Best of luck with your day today, I know every day can be it's own individual challenge so I hope it's at least a bit easier than the last.
Best wishes...
thank you so much for your encouragement :-)
ReplyDeletei have been trying to put my detective hat on but i'm rubbish so please email me susannapiggott@hotmail.co.uk
its so scary telling people about depression, but honestly, you feel like a weight is lifted off your shoulders.
keep being brave xxx
Hi Susie. Dad has just shared your blog with me. I too have struggled with depression for many years. Fortunately, I have managed to keep working and living in Kenya seems to help me survive better. I haven't read all of your entries yet, but I identify with a lot of what you are writing. Sending you lots of love, Shirley Rogers
ReplyDelete