Wednesday, 20 August 2014

We must talk. We must change.

After a lovely relaxing week away, I thought I would be full of energy at work today. I had visions of myself bouncing around and everything. However, I seem to feel just as tired as before I went away....yawn.

How did that happen? (Answers on a postcard please.) 

Anyway..highlights of last week included...
  • Feeding a giraffe (yeah, my hand was covered in gooey giraffe slobber, but I didn't care!)
  • Seeing a baby elephant (I wanted to take it home but Mr B wouldn't let me.)
  • Facing my fears and riding a big scary ride called the BLACK FLY (I have to write it in capitals so you can grasp just how scary it was.)
  • Taking Mr B horse riding, and enjoying a lovely hack over the countryside together.
From these highlights you may think that we've been on a safari, or perhaps to Florida or some such exotic place, but no, we went to sunny Shropshire. And it was great. We also managed to spend some time with our extended families which was lots of fun.

Bit of a change of topic now, which hopefully wont be too controversial (just to keep you on your toes.)

Although I didn't get very much phone signal whilst away, I did hear the shocking news of Robin Williams' death.

My facebook news feed and twitter account were suddenly full of articles concerning suicide and mental health. 

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I didn't read any of them. (So really, I am making something of a contradiction in writing this, I do apologise.)

I feel like I should have.

But its just too hard. 

Because it takes me back to that place. To that day.


I'm so glad that people have been able to share articles concerning mental health, and that through the tragedy of Williams' death, perhaps others may be helped.

However, I want it to be known, to be remembered and realised, that every suicide is a tragedy.

It is not just the celebrated and awarded souls that are secretly tormented. Its also the people around you.

 One in four of you.

The guy in the office who finds it difficult to talk to others.

The girl at the bus stop with her sleeves covering the cuts she's been making on her arms.

Every suicide is one too many.

Every suicide is a tragedy.

Every suicide is an illness.

We must talk.

We must change.


Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Mantra time

I hate it when writers use cliched phrases, but I am just about to use one, so please forgive me....

The last few weeks have been something of a roller-coaster ride. (Oh I really do hate that cliche, but my brain is struggling to find another suitable phrase.)

There have been amazing ups.....Getting the keys to our new house, YIPPEE! And also spending time with my sister, bro in law and nephew (playing on the slippy side was such fun.)

But there have also been quite a lot of days when I've just been fighting to get through each hour.

Its like waking up in the morning and being surrounded by heavy dense fog. Its everywhere, you cant get away from it. All you can do is  desperately try and find your way out of it. 

You logically know that the fog will eventually disappear, but when you're surrounded by it, you feel lost. You have to keep telling yourself to reach out for things that will help you find your way back into the light. 

Those things might be listening to a certain song, going for a walk, texting a friend, telling someone your brain has gone a bit wonky, or maybe even just giving yourself a little bit of space.

Before I started working again, I used to have several mantras that would help me through those foggy days. 

Last week I realized that I hadn't looked at them for a long time, and so I decided to write some new ones.

Here are a few of them.....

Don't worry about tomorrow.

Concentrate on today.

You are valued.

Look after YOU.

Let any negativity wash over you.

It might seem silly, a bit daft and maybe cheesy, but I've found them a really helpful tool. And maybe you will too....