Starting to panic slightly about this forthcoming exhibition I'm part of in March... Several nightmares haven't really helped my anxiety levels. I really do curse my sleeping brain.
How mean (and quite frankly, spiteful) is it that whatever you worry/or fear in the day, comes and haunts you at night too?? Not fair at all. No no. Who invented that?! We need to change this brain, we really do.
If I don't think about it, I'm OK. But then it suddenly pops into my head, and I freak like a fly who has just landed on a red hot light bulb. My brain spirals, I cant stop jumping everywhere ( not in a fun Tigger-like way) and I have crazed irrational thoughts (well, I think they're logical but I've been told otherwise...hmmm..)
ANDDDDD I still have one painting to do, which is the biggest and most important. So, I've kind of got to think about it. I can't hide from it. I can't leave the country or run off and join the circus (well, I could, and potentially I could make a great acrobat...) I've just got to do it. Do it and not think about it perhaps. Or something like that.
But the 4th of March is staring me in the face like a big angry moose who has steam coming out of his nostrils and fiercely threatening antlers that could to poke me in the eye.