Monday 12 March 2012

i have to

Last year I started writing mantras. About 10 empowering sentences that I wanted to stick in my brain to encourage me and to keep the black dog away. Its something that I've blogged about quite a lot, and I don't want to bore the pants off you (or me actually...) But I'm feeling rather disheartened, low, frustrated, stuck, deflated, rubbish, worthless, useless....all the utterly rubbish words that I'm sick of writing and I'm tired of feeling.

So let me delve into the corners of my mind and see what mantras I can remember...

Hope can often hide but ALWAYS be found...

Challenge guilt, fear and failure, don't let them rule your mind...

Depression and anxiety are not signs of weakness...they are an illness...

I'm really struggling to remember the others! Eeek. Come on Susie, don't let the black dog win.

Don't forget who you are Susie...

No-one is perfect, we are all flawed...

Don't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, share the load...

Now is the time for self discovery...Be selfish.

OK OK I admit it, I cheated on the last 4, went back to 2011 and gave myself a reminder. Which just shows I need to say these to myself more often. I need to get them STUCK IN MY HEAD FOREVER. Which is probably a pretty impossible task, but I have to try.

I have to believe that this process is getting me ready, making some sort of a foundation for the rest of my life. In one hellish of a weird way. But I have to hold on to that. That tiny bit of hope, that somewhere out there, my life will be more than this.

Perfect song whilst writing this...beautiful words....



xxx

2 comments:

  1. Susanna, I try to read all your blogs; reading this one in particular I could not help but hear the following words:

    "You are beautiful.
    You are precious.
    You have a purpose."

    Stay strong. Stay true.

    x

    ReplyDelete
  2. thank you for those beautiful and encouraging words xxx

    ReplyDelete