Here are some vital statistics for you...
Since 1st February 2011 this blog has had 5851 pageviews.
I have written 70 blog posts.
Yesterday the blog had 83 pageviews.
My profile has had 298 views.
In terms of who is reading this accross the world...
5250 UK pageviews
189 USA pageviews
111 CANADA pageviews
55 THAILAND pageviews
30 NEW ZEALAND pageviews
23 FRANCE pageviews
123 PORTUGAL pageviews
21 AUSTRALIA pageviews
9 DENMARK pageviews
7 IRELAND pageviews
6 HUNGARY pageviews
Now maths has never been my strong point. Most of the time was spent chatting, leaning back on chairs, throwing rubbish down peoples trousers (don't ask, but when I think about it now, very mean) and generally procrastinating. But I think with my little calculator next to me I have worked out that 83.5 (I don't want to disregard that extra 0.5..) people view my blog every day. Which is quite a lot. More than I realised. So a round of applause to all. Go on, give yourself a pat on the back. Because quite honestly, you deserve it for sticking with this wittering load of dribble for the past couple of months.
And more than that, you have stuck by me. Which is something that can't really be expressed in words.... to try and tell you all how much your support and friendship means to me. I wouldn't be here without you. You have given me hope, laughter, tasty snacks, surprises in the post, hugs, phone calls, texts, emails and love. I'm not really sure why you crazy cats!
People I haven't spoken to for ages have popped up and given me a boost. People that I have known for ages, have been by my side, every single tiny step of the way, and I owe you everything. People I haven't even met have made me smile. I know I sound even more cheesy than yesterday but on this shitty journey of depression I have discovered what real love is, and what true friendship is. Its not just having a laugh together, or telling someone you love them, that's super duper easy. Its about making choices, going out of your way for someone. Acting in a way that shows you love them. Being there when things are horrible, scary, and out of control and not judging. Listening, understanding, and accepting.
When I first started writing this I said that 1 in 4 people will suffer from some sort of depression in their lifetime. I don't think I realised the true impact of that statistic. Its massive. Huge. I feel so privileged that people have been able to share their stories with me, and its made a real difference. Knowing that you're not the only one out there, that you're not going mad, that its OK, and at some point things will change and you will get better. I also should probably apologise if I still haven't written back to you, no other excuse other than it takes quite a lot of energy and I promise I will...honestly.
So a massive THANK YOU, a huge shout out to one and all for sticking by me and giving me HOPE