Saturday 5 February 2011

A little bit muddled

Saturday....not always the best day for Susie.

Knowing that people are out and about enjoying their lives and I'm unable to do anything like that....arrrrgh I hate this illness!! Patience is a virtue.....or so I've heard...

I'm having trouble settling into writing this today, my brain is a little bit all over the place. Just been talking to one of my best buddies on Skype. I'm not great on the phone, but Skype has been a great invention for me! It means that I can talk to friends and feel relaxed at the same time. I don't quite understand why but the telephone just makes my anxiety worse.

I think thats one of the things that I've come to realise about this illness. You have to listen to your inner voice. I have a tendancy to over stretch myself, and to try and do to much, which often ends up with me feeling more frustrated or having a panic attack. I have got to learn to listen to that little voice that says, 'Take it steady Susie...small steps...small steps.'

This afternoon my Mama and I had a  pampering session. We listened to ABBA and painted our nails....then Mama suggested cracking open some champagne, she didn't have to ask me twice! It felt good to be looking after each other, and to just to forget about everything else outside of the room. My hands tend to get very shaky with my illness though, and I'm not sure if her nails weren't a bit smudged! Whooops....

I have been quite accident prone of the last few months. I have managed to spill diet coke over a dining chair, break the cookie jar, smash a glass coaster and melt a plastic bag onto the boiler. I am never usually like this! My Mama has just had the living room carpet professionally cleaned, so you can imagine how I feel about it. I have banned myself from eating or drinking in the lounge!

I think thats it for today....I feel like this entry is a bit of a jumbled up mess of my thoughts...

Until tomorrow xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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