Monday, 12 January 2015

Meercat in residence

So I'm a few days late in terms of wishing you all a happy new year...whoops.

Happy belated new year?!

Nah it doesnt really work does it.


You've probably had enough new year wishes by now anyway. Especially when they come from your TV (which I think is so rude, when you think about it, really think about it, commercials are just so impolite.)

I particularly hate the adverts that love shouting "New year, NEW YOU!!" Followed by promoting the latest in plastic surgery/weight loss/ laser eye surgery/new flashy car/ disgusting sofa from DFS. Yuk. That stuff really does make me feel a little bit sick in my mouth.

Christmas and new year is never my best time, but I managed to survive, and even have a little bit of fun on the way.

However, my anxiety levels have peaked over the last month. Which resulted in my heart palpations being so bad in the middle of the night I thought I was having a heart attack and was going to die.

Sounds a tad dramatic I know, and I can kind of see the funny side now, (the funny side being that I’m a relatively healthy 28 yr old, and therefore unlikely to have a heart attack.) 

But still, it wasn’t that amusing at the time.

I think that a culmination of things have led to my anxiety spiralling out of control recently. I’ve got a lot going on in my little brain, and I seem to be worrying about everything.

 Also, although most people like to be out of their routine during the festive period, I find it really difficult. Which is both daft and annoying because I love having time off, but I hate not being in my routine, so my brain gets all confused.

There have been many occasions recently when I just havent known how I'm going to get through each day. When all I've wanted to do is curl up in my bed and go to sleep. 

I feel so weak and tired. But my brain wont stop turning. I'm like a small little anxious meercat who keeps scampering around in circles, looking up every second, double checking things, and generally going slightly crazy.

Haha that image is kind of making me chuckle now, oh I am somewhat ridiculous.

Right, I'm now going to try and shed my meercat persona at a dance may help...or I may get anxious about forgetting how to dance.....!